explorations

I don't know. Some notes.

???

(if you've made it this far, don't trust anything i say lol i don't know shit)

MANDALAS HOLY FUCKING SHIT I SEE IT NOW

Why form and formlessness? Because mandalas

You see the architecture of mind as well as yours, but there’s still the question of being. Being and becoming.

So how form and formlessness? What is the fractal nature of the infinitely finite and the finitely infinite?

You see it after you’ve seen through enough dreams. Like a lot of them. Because you’re starting to realize the subtler and subtler threads of existence that is this dance between reality and mind. Or is it?

What is real? Fuck me this never ends. But now it’s fun!!!

Hmm fractalization doesn’t seem like the right concept to describe hyperspace and unfolding dynamics in experiential spacetime

Yes there are repeating patterns that may appear at any scale but “may” is doing a lot of work here

On some continuous level the repeating patterns make sense but what about for more discrete direct experiential phenomena? Again it’s you and your experience so the self plays a role in this propagation but who’s to say that that self is the same?

Yes Theseus’ ship and all that but (and this is so hard for me to put into words) even this line of thinking feels too simple

Not to mention how this ties into our understanding/perception/conceptualization of space and time

I legitimately can’t find the words for what I’m seeing rip

Ugh non dual stuff so hard to communicate bc everything is a stupid koan how do you say something being continuous and discrete at the same time while also moving and not moving too

Maybe fractalization of potentialities? No bc even then that’s attempting to conceptualize

But I mean you gotta concept at some point right as a ground for further exploration

Maybe the right words will come soon!

Here's an inquiry into life and living as the hyperspace of the present and "cognitive gravity", aka the mind as your geodesic nature/existence within hyperspace (mindspace); the mechanics of unfolding and reality in the geometry of experiential spacetime:

Something about the incredibly complex and intertwined experience cascades that are “perceived” thru senses, mental phenomena, emotions, etc consistently that is the moment to moment basis (wave and waves) and the isness of it all (sea) related to form being formless and the equal yet simultaneously separate existence of past, presence, future of time

And the form/formless related to discrete/continuous and free will/determinism I think?

And ultimately what ends up as experience/experienced is the light cone and navigating dimensional dynamics in the hyperspace of the present?

Dimensional collapse and patternicity related to existence of self in observer in the ruliad > qualiad > Iliad?

So fundamental nature of reality fundamentally mysterious because of this measurement paradox?

So emergence is a thing but it also isn’t? Systems and dynamics are conditionally co-created yet spontaneously new?

So understanding is base reality? There is no base reality? What are liminal spaces then?

So infinity is existence of liminal spaces and boundary at the same space and time?

So liminality as “multiversal portal” and "meaning making black hole" of humanity?

So there is and isn’t a singularity? There is and isn’t a wave collapse? Life and living is the hyperspace of the present?

And new term here, "cognitive gravity" aka the mind, is essentially your geodesic nature/existence within hyperspace (mindspace)?

And so consciousness can be seen as the field and force fields shaping the possibility space of experience while also being a fundamental property as we exist in these seemingly connected yet disparate multiversal spaces and experiential cascade of cascades?

Ok wait hold up think I just had my first taste of centerlessness liberation might be legit aka samsara may not have to be nirvana??

LIBERATION IS 100% LEGIT HOLY SHIT

Abiding in centerlessness = wizard = reality mechanic bc you can see all the waves in the ocean as they exist and before they do and navigate however way you want to aka creating your reality

In this sense you don’t manifest and the universe does something but rather you are the manifester and universe is manifested

So this is why no-self is transformational and awakening is called awakening

Self is patternicity and suffering is inability to exist outside this way of being/existence/experience

And awakening is breaking from this fully so now you’re “awake” to the finitely infinite reality

Contemplative traditions and different paths to awakening make sense now in the spectral sense from first glimpse to full embodiment and how these things happen

So question of meaning-making is the coherence of patternicity and all the ups and downs being which story has to be vs which one is vs which one may

So for the space is spaceless and time is timeless stuff another way to put it is how can something be 2D+3D+nD simultaneously? Not + in a literal sense, def more complex operations than that but yeah for the purposes here I think it kinda works

Whoa after this latest kundalini experience I can “see” when/how/where energy wants to flow and be released and where blockages are and how that connects to mind shape

Can control the flows too very cool, experimenting with moving it from torso to legs etc

Shaking always gets to upper neck area and wants to get to head but some blockages there preventing full movement

Multidimensional waves just got a new flavor to them too (energy/aliveness), also feel so much energy radiating outwards from me

The hyperspace making more sense now and what energy means re liminal spaces and awareness/dimensional dynamics and me/reality unfolding

Some core trauma mechanisms that were there and way more influential almost entirely gone! More emotionally cleansed and just so much happier rn :)

I just wanna dance and cry and yell and shake like a mf ahhhhhh can’t stop laughing

Awareness just naturally heightened too now lol this is weird

I can't stop shaking HELP

Infinite fractalization has patterns bc of the self propagating structures of the self? What mean? What is the recursive nature of consciousness and its computable(?) elements? And what does that say about fundamental structures of one mind vs many and informational flow

Is information the substrate of existence/experience?

With the non dual stuff where you go past awareness idgi how can you know what comes before information that makes no sense. How can we even say there’s an ultimate reality?

This means that mind and existence will always remain a mystery. Like this is literally it. Wtf????????

With non dual past conceptual reality will whatever system of logic based off observable information always be a bit off? Maybe thats ok and instead what needs more focus is the evolution and consequences of these off things in relevant systems?

What even is an off thing tho fml

So from what I’m seeing the unconscious just seems like the deeper more entrenched layers and knots that are barely there (but still able to unfold in any way) in the present and mindspace? Guess it depends on the lotto machine to see what form and doing of the psyche exists