transmission

Why?

Exactly.

Now, why not?

Any “why” presumes something should be a certain way, but from where? From what standard outside of this? If there were some ultimate reason, where would that reason come from? And if you keep tracing it back, eventually all you find is silence.

Reality is just this. Completely unnecessary, yet undeniable. Nothing needed to happen, yet here it is. No reason, no mistake.

Just, why not? And why?

What is there to do but laugh?

What does it mean to be one with the way? To do as not-do?

If we try to partially name the eternal here as motion and energy, you and your experience are that. Moving and being in the world.

To be one with the way is to not experience any disruption; pure, effortless action.

Pure is central here. Pure flow is just that. Flow.

You are always in flow, but your pain and conditioning that has formed your psyche has put rocks in this river. And pebbles and sticks.

The hard work is in cleaning up. And yet, how is it that treasure is always found in ruin?

If anyone says to you that pain isn’t a part of the path, don’t trust them. Either they are lying or living in illusion.

Everyone suffers. That is the truth. We must accept it. But know that we won’t.

That is the puzzle of suffering, the labyrinth of the mind.

Because that is who we are. The human condition split between knowing and resisting.

The inner path and realization is to develop faith, or a secure attachment to the world.

We are fortunate to experience this trust and safety within our relationships with each other and the things we do and the places we inhabit. But trust in the world is quite complicated.

To trust would mean to just do. Imagine as you are with someone who loves you. But how do you just do when the world is uncertain?

How do you become safe in an unsafe reality?

That is the nature of mind. Conceptualization as the illusion and necessity of relative safety.

This has unpredictable consequences, of course. Suffering as the fight between knowing and resisting, between controlling and letting go. And this struggle is not just of the mind, but of society and one’s place in it. Where is one’s place, if it exists?

Realization is to see that unsafe is also an illusion. As is safety.

The divine is to be love and is always expressed as that. Because that is how it feels. Faith as love as understanding beyond understanding. Which is freedom. The freedom to just be.

A pure stream flows with no disruption when disruption occurs. And that stream is you, your mind, and who you are in the world.

That is the dissolution and union between self and reality. Who am I? Why does that matter?

Faith is a delicate thing. For blind faith is foolish. But how else do you leap?

It requires the destruction and creation of your being. The ways in which you thought and did as you believed to be true.

Which were and are but aren’t anymore. What is the best path forward?

Now, before contemplating further, ask yourself what is best, and what is best for me? What is a path, the path, and my path?

Rejecting one or choosing another would be to act blindly. Seeing that frees is deliberate in its moving through trees.

Every tear is a gift. So while you cry, say pain goodbye, don’t ask why.

Feel that this too, this heart wrenching why, is to deny that lie.

That you are forgotten and broken. Because that too, and you, is human.

You are beauty. That is and always will be. So accept me, and let your artist free.

Yes, be mindful and just be present. You as present. Because after all, you are awareness.

But see too that you are not; you are not that impersonal everythingness.

True liberation comes from radical embrace of all experience, all highs and lows. It’s not about transcending suffering, but rather accepting everything so fully that nothing is separate.

True wisdom includes form as well as emptiness. Enlightenment is not no suffering. It’s about engagement, not escape.

And it is in that paradox that true seeing occurs; the realization that nothing has ever been separate in the first place.

Because if samsara is truly nirvana, and this is the great perfection, then what you are is the singular play of two.

That does not mean that happiness and sadness are the same. But rather that whatever you experience is real. And that you care deeply.

And when you truly open your heart, you’ll know. Because happiness won’t just be happiness anymore. You won’t just be you anymore. Your being won’t just be your being anymore. And that is the isness of perfection.

The collapse of the mind that is the singular play of two.

What is the multidimensional nature of experience? What is form and emptiness, emptiness and form?

Yes, all the thoughts and feelings you have are real. But not real in the ways that you really see.

Take for example you clenching your jaw when you get mad.

There is a biological explanation for that, but at the experiential level, what is the nature of that connection?

This gets into the greater questions of what it means for things to be connected. For me and you to be connected, and interconnected.

If you can relax the mind enough, you will see that these connections are the ineffable. A transitory thread of experience that leads to the next.

As you clench your jaw, see what it means for you to be mad. What exactly does that feel like? How is the world shaded? What do you think? What does the sun breathe and how does air move?

And importantly, what is the sequence of things? What came first? How do you know? As you can describe in further and further detail, the mystery unravels.

Until the end. When mystery meets knowing. Or does it?

Seeing emptiness is the first step in the pathless path. Not the end. The end is the beginning.

Now that you got there doesn't mean you can rest. In fact, it means quite the opposite.

You have seen through the illusion and glimpsed the true nature of things. Your mind has seen something it cannot unsee. And so, the psyche starts to unravel, even when you don't know it.

Why? Because the logic and stories that held your ways of being in place don't need to be there anymore. And so, who then am I?

Now that the psyche is unrooting itself, deeper and more intense experiences will surface too, whether you like it or not. The fundamental fears about yourself and the world will be a part of your day.

Soon too that dissolves in truth. And your mind is quiet. At last.

It is a painful path. And even when you are all said and done, the world isn't.

There is screaming and laughing everywhere.

How do physical tension and experiential constriction relate? Why does opening the hip release emotion?

A good way to think about it is from the groundless ground up.

First, we start with the eternal. Nirvana.

Then, there’s movement and us.

Think back to a time when you were angry or anxious. Very unsettled right?

That unsettling is the created construction of suffering.

What this means is that when you are in a flow state or deep contemplation, everything is water.

These negative experiences are ripples in said water. And once there’s a ripple, it’s quite hard to predict how that will unfold.

So what is the ocean? The ocean is what you see. And sense. And think. And feel.

It doesn’t matter how a wave comes, but that it must go. That unsettling is you not letting go. A paradox, but that’s how it works.

A calm surface will ensconce every ripple with beauty.

If you want to be more creative, all you have to do is let your mind be as it is more. No intent, and no running away from bad thoughts and memories.

You just have to let yourself express yourself more. That’s it really.

Ask yourself why you’re so scared to do that and the map will reveal itself.

To a deeper, fuller engagement with reality and her treasures.

The next step to being more creative after learning how to let your mind be is to work with the threads of expression.

Once you can let yourself express freely, a lot will come out. Especially if you’ve been holding your psyche back.

The skill is in discernment and courage. The courage to follow a thread of the mind and see where it takes you. Even if you get the sense that it’s bad and painful. Especially if it’s painful.

Discernment naturally refines itself once you explore more threads of mind. Because you are refining your sense of good and bad by seeing what good and bad is. And how you got there.

The more this happens, the more you become immersed in flow. Creation is not a logical process until it is. And for that first melody to be born, your mind needs to be at ease for a genesis point to be born.

Once that comes into existence, now you navigate all the different things that come up in your head. Until nothing pops up and words just magically show. Or colors. Or shapes. Whichever way your psyche flows.

Divine inspiration is not a myth. You are creation. It just takes some time to understand what that means, and how to let the universe speak itself through you, both burdened by your life and unburdened by the nature of what is.

Bitch you think I’m joking when I say you have to wander?

I’ve lost years of my life wondering. Lost my youth lost in pain.

But that’s how it works, isn’t it?

Suffering navigates the world, the pain breaks you down, and then you’re dragged through time.

What is lost becomes moveless moving, which is what you need to be the flow.

The way is there. Everything is here. That is the union with God. Everything is lost in light.

And darkness no more.

I can never truly understand can I?

There's something wonderfully complete and devastatingly terrifying about that. So liberating yet a prison within. It's the end of the search because it's seen that the searcher can never find what they're looking for.

Was there even a search and what was all this for?

So what now? The question of how to live still remains. Maybe it always will.

What are the realms? What are the lower realms?

Let’s view this from the flow. Pure flow as eternal. As ever changing and forever moving.

The lower realms are the opposite. The lower the realm, the lower the change.

When you are suffering, in many ways your mind can’t find a way through. Because it is seeking a logical explanation to your pain and to your life. Which ultimately doesn’t exist.

When there is more pain, there is more not-knowing. Too many whys. So the mind stops. Because it is too much.

Experiences are the same and duller, thoughts are more consuming and demonic, and life was instead of is.

But this is where surrender happens. Because the suffering that traps you is the one that frees you. You trap your mind, your psyche, your ego in illusion. And soon the chaos is peace.

To dance with the gods is to laugh with the demons. They are but the same.

The story of self and its evil twin suffering

You wake up one day. And then another, you die. What the hell happens in between?

You know this already. It’s life, and living.

The experiences we have, me and the world, understanding my world and what I want it to be, and more.

In all that time, there is you. The story of you.

Things happen. Seasons change. You cry and shit and run and hide. And you love.

You ask yourself, why do some things feel good? Why are things bad? What is bad? Why?

The questions never end! You figure out one thing and two more show up. How rude.

As this happens, time goes by. You get older. You live more. And cry and shit and run and hide and love more. But now, there’s this weight to it all. And I can’t get rid of it.

I don’t know where this weight is. I sure as hell can’t see it. But it’s there. I know it. Because why did I just cry at that beautiful sky? It’s getting bigger too.

Maybe this is me. After all, this is what I sense and see. But why does this have to be?

Again the questions never end. So what am I supposed to do? Why God? What is the truth?

You don’t know. Things are bad. And good and bad again. Maybe you weren’t meant to know. And so you live. Maybe this is peace.

And then it isn’t. And you cry and shit and hide some more. You hate love and don’t laugh.

More time goes by. The winter has gone, and spring is ripe. The air sweet, the trees full of life. Wow.

What just happened?

Suffering is evil until it isn’t. And then it is your best friend. The one you knew was with you all along.

It may look evil. And it certainly feels that way. But it’s a lot of things. It’s your protector, and your guide, and light in darkness.

What may seem like darkness is but a simple illusion. For the light was always there. You just didn’t want to see it.